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tutelage
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Name: Tut
Gender: Male
Interests: I. Music, movies, anime, manga/comics, video games, books II. Web design, programming III. Economics, Politics, Stock market IV. Photography, sketching, 3D art, lion dance V. Red Sox, Pistons, Rockets, Patriots, Basketball, soccer, tennis.
Expertise: I. Eating,
II. Sleeping
III. Goofing around.
Occupation: Living another day in cubicle
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
7/31/2003
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| voted today for the first timeCongratulations to Barack. | | |
| ISU RESEARCHERS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT
AMES, IA--The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named
Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight
of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice
neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that
involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can
be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into
contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium
caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction
time is less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at
which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice
neutrons exchange places. Studies have shown that the atomic mass usually
increases after each reorganization.
Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points,
such as governmental agencies, large corporations, and universities. It is
always found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level
of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it
is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how
Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but
results to date are not promising.
source: http://www.danielsen.com/jokes/Administratium.txt | | |
| Halloween this year. | | |
| A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot to the left costs $500.”
“Why does the parrot cost so much?” the customer asks.
The owner says, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”
The customer asks about the next parrot and is told, “That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.”
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told, “That one costs $2,000.”
Needless to say this begs the question, “What can IT do?”
The owner replies “To be honest I’ve never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!” | | |
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